Erik Menéndez and Lyle Menéndez both found life partners while serving out their individual life sentences following a high-profile murder case.
The Menéndez brothers were arrested in 1990 on two counts of first-degree murder after their parents — José and Kitty — were found shot to death in their home. Two trials resulted in Erik and Lyle being sentenced to life without parole; both maintained that their mother and father were physically, emotionally and sexually abusive.
After initially remaining in the same penitentiary, Folsom State Prison, Erik and Lyle were transferred after their sentencing. Lyle was taken to Mule Creek State Prison while Erik moved to Pleasant Valley State Prison, which are all located in California. They reunited in 2018 when they were moved into the same housing unit at Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility.
Erik previously addressed rumors about his personal life amid speculation into his sexuality.
“No [I am not gay]. The prosecutor brought that up because I was sexually molested and he felt in his own thinking that if I was sodomized by my father that I must have enjoyed it and therefore I must be gay,” he said in a tell-all with Barbara Walters from 1996. “And people that are gay out there must be sexually molested or they wouldn’t be. It was upsetting to hear, but I am not gay. But a lot of gay people write and feel connected to me.”
Erik ultimately found love with Tammi Ruth Saccoman, whom he married in 1999. The couple have no conjugal visits because under California law, inmates serving life sentences are banned from such privileges.
“Tammi is what gets me through,” Erik told People in 2005.. “I can’t think about the sentence. When I do, I do it with a great sadness and a primal fear. I break into a cold sweat. It’s so frightening I just haven’t come to terms with it.”
Erik credited Tammi’s support for helping him, adding, “Tammi’s love was a major step in my choosing life. Having someone who loves you unconditionally, who you can be completely open with, is good for anybody — to know that this person loves me as I am.”
Meanwhile, Lyle got married to Rebecca Sneed in 2003. “People are judgmental, and she has to put up with a lot,” Lyle shared with People in 2017 about how he “feels guilty” for what his wife endures in public. “But she has the courage to deal with the obstacles. It would be easier to leave, but I’m profoundly grateful that she doesn’t.”
Keep scrolling for a glimpse into Erik and Lyle’s personal lives:
Erik Menendez
Erik got married to Tammi in 1999 after she started writing letters to him in prison. She has remained by his side while he serves out his sentence. Tammi has a daughter from a previous marriage, Talia, who has shown support for Erik and Lyle on her social media account.
During an interview with Walters in 2005, Tammi called her relationship with Erik something she’s “dreamed about for a long time,” adding, “It’s just something very special that I never thought that I would ever have.”
Tammi clarified that she doesn’t have a physical relationship with Erik. They are allowed to kiss hello and goodbye during their visits.
“Not having sex in my life is difficult, but it’s not a problem for me. I have to be emotionally attached, and I’m emotionally attached to Erik,” Tammi told People in 2005. “My family does not understand. When it started to get serious, some of them just threw up their hands.”
Lyle Menendez
After his arrest, Lyle met Anna Eriksson by mail and were married in 1996 in a wedding attended by his attorney Leslie Abramson and his aunt Marta Menendez. The California Department of Corrections, however, did not consider the marriage to be legal, according to a report from The Los Angeles Times in 1997.
The pair called it quits in 2001 after she found out Lyle was writing letters to other women. Two years later, Lyle married Rebecca after knowing her for nearly a decade through mail correspondence.
“Our interaction tends to be very free of distractions and we probably have more intimate conversations than most married spouses do, who are distracted by life’s events,” Lyle told People in 2017. “We try and talk on the phone every day, sometimes several times a day. I have a very steady, involved marriage and that helps sustain me and brings a lot of peace and joy. It’s a counter to the unpredictable, very stressful environment here.”
